I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
