I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
