3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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