he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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