Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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