I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
