i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
