is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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