im so drunk with asians
where?
always
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
