Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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