is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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