3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
