worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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