It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize