You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
