Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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