Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
