Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
