i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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