i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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