I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
