it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize