My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
