you would pick up someone in the library
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
