just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
