That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
wow bdsm is so cute
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