ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
