Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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