so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
