I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
