My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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