we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
