Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
