my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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