The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
