I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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