I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
