Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It's official drugs can't kill me
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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