I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize