please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So vagazzling was a success
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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