HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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