guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
