I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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