I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
