kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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