69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
