So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
