Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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