If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
