i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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