I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We have started to decorate penises.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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