my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
