it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
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You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
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I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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