Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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