So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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