it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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