We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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