There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
