ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
