And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
