And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This house was built for laser tag.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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