I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
