I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
this just has baby written all over it
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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