I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
