We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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