Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
