If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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