we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
